I don’t claim to be an expert on relationships or anything like that, because I am most certainly not. I am a teenager who is inexperienced in the whole realm of love and romance; intentionally. But I do have some thoughts regarding the matter that I definitely think are worthy of your consideration.
This world is consistently in search of love. That in and of itself is good; this world needs Jesus Christ, and He is the only love that satisfies. What is not good is how our world has tried to fulfill that need outside of Christ, and I’ll focus particularly on how teens try to do this, since that is my intended audience.
In this culture, to have a boyfriend or girlfriend is to be loved. You’re obviously worth something if someone likes you – right? The world has tried to fill its void of Christ’s love in their life with cheap replacements.
So today, I want to turn you around and explain to you exactly why I don’t have a boyfriend. But I want to present it from a different aspect. I’m not going to repeat the same spiel you’ve probably heard over and over again about the preservation of purity, saving your firsts for marriage, and all of that jazz. While I agree with the general consensus about purity and the like, I’ll let other people tell you about that. I want to cover a couple of different points today.
One of the main reasons why I don’t have a boyfriend is this: it would distract me from serving God in my youth. Why do I say this? Ask anyone who’s had a crush – they’ll tell you. They’d tell you the stories of how they daydreamed of So-and-So all day, of how they always wanted to be with them, of how they constantly talked about them. Guess who’s taken control of their hearts and minds?
Jesus wants to be your first love. (Rev. 2:4) He should be your first love. When we are in desperate pursuit of a boyfriend or girlfriend, our minds are taken off of our desperate pursuit to grow closer to the Lord. When our hearts are fastened to a fleeting relationship that will last only for a season, they are unfastened from our relationship with God. We as Christians should never let this happen.
Now it’s starting to sound like I’m an advocate against never having romantic interest in anyone because it will degrade your walk with Christ. I don’t mean to sound legalistic like that. I think it’s perfectly fine to be interested in someone, as long as you’re old enough to seriously consider a serious relationship. As I’m focusing on teens, this aspect is not really applicable, and this brings me to my next point. We as teenagers are not yet ready to consider a relationship. We are young people, entering the next stage of our lives– we are not adults yet ready to consider a lifetime commitment. Therefore, why would we spend our time enjoying something we can’t have? It only lasts for a time, anyway. If you’re in the typical dating loop, you’ll have one boyfriend one year and another one the next. You’re mostly in it for the romantic thrill, after all. Right?
There will be “moments of attraction” if you will, and that’s natural – it’s a part of growing up. But there is no need to foster or feed any of those feelings. We need to turn our hearts and minds off of fleeting relationships and on to the One whom is to be our first love, who comes first in our hearts and life. He should be the one you think about all day, talk about all the time. If you are looking for love, do not look for what the world calls love. Do not settle for a substitute that will not satisfy and doesn’t last. Look to your Savior, and you will find a love unconditional and everlasting.